El metge i el Viagra

Lo saben aquel que dice que es un señor de cierta edad que va al médico i li diu:
"Mire doctor, ¿habría algun remedio para poder hacer el amor todos los dias, pero que no sea el Viagra, que tengo problemas cardiovasculares?"
I el doctor li respon:
" Que edad tiene usted?"
"Ochenta y cinco años"
"Pues mire, no hay nada", li torna a dir el metge.
"Pues yo tengo un amigo de misma edad y que tampoco puede tomar el Viagra y él dice que hace el amor todos los dias"
I el doctor li respon: " Bueno, pues dígalo usted también"
Eugenio, el geni.

New yea's Eve: "a Day to Stay at Home",...this year with friends from London

No sex please, we're married

One can gauge the heat of an issue by the level of discomfort it generates at a dinner party. Asking if there is sex after marriage is about as bad as asking if there is life after death.I mean sexy sex is the stuff of affairs, NOT marriage." His wife, bejewelled, beautifully dressed, intelligent, sat opposite him, unblinking. "Frilly black knickers!" he bellowed, "They're just not going to cut it after you've been ringside for the C-section." In Britain, 50% of couples within the first three years of marriage and in the first year of their child's life divorce. A lack of pleasure kills love."

The spectre of infidelity haunts most couples like the hairline crack in the Golden Bowl. The mistress system is what made middle-class marriage (possibly all marriage) work for centuries across different cultures .But, not wanting to live in a Fellini movie where some strumpet gets to wear all the high heels, I turned my mind to the 21st-century alternative: sex inside marriage, or what Americans call "hot monogamy. Not more gooey closeness but a little more distance. Space between husband and wife, space between mother and child and, most challenging of all, space between a kitchen table covered in bills and a steaming hot boudoir.

There's a powerful tendency," Esther Perel writes in her introduction, "in long-term relationships to favour the predictable over the unpredictable. Yet without an element of uncertainty there is no longing, no anticipation, no frisson."As a New York sex therapist, the question she seems to prod her clients (and readers) with most is "Why not?" "Why not stop breast-feeding?" she asked me over tea. "The hormones pumping through your body are flat-lining your libido." I choked on my baguette. "Why not have a night away from your son, or several nights?".

Perel herself revs along on four hours a night, yet she does have empathy, tinged with impatience, for erotic sloths: "I understand exhaustion and (as a mother) I am the last one to trivialise this. I was tired too, but I also know that two lovers at the beginning of an affair are able to stay up all night. I think desire in marriage is about getting over the hump and knowing it will feel good, that it will be good for us."Perel refutes the now fashionable child-centred model of family life, arguing: "The happiness of the parents dictates the stability of the whole family."

In Perel's pursuit of the erotic she pushes women to explore what they want in bed, in their fantasies and in their lives. But most women I know are so busy treading water that any sex feels like a victory. Eroticism, to me, seems very much like the tattered risotto recipe in the bottom of my handbag. It requires time and special ingredients. I resolve to seize both.Spontaneity is a fabulous idea, but in an ongoing relationship whatever is going to 'just happen' already has. Now they have to make it happen. Committed sex is intentional sex."
This notion of planning, she says, is just what new lovers do: the mood, the motel, the bottle of Moët.

New Christmas, Old questions

Living in between two cities will be more and more often a com on feature. People do not necessarily like all about the city they were grew up. But even if they do, more regulary with the reduction of cross border barriers to education more poeple decide to study overseas and end up staying. Finally work and economic actitivty might well stagnate locally, and only the "leaving option" is left open for those who wish to pursue a carreer. In any case, our point is that people meet their partners abroad and may well decide to stay abroad too. Our case, is however a little different, we met aborad but we are both from the same city , just that it happens that for a variaty of reasons we don't want to live in Barcelona just as yet. Joan misses Catalonia, family and friends and has a job there so he spends at leat a term every year. Marta only visits family three times a year and that's about it really.

One of the times that we tend to be both in Barcelona is in christmas and we are used to the same question: when are you comming back? Interestingly, we have come to a conclusion that we have no real response. We are not anymore as when we fist left, but were we are its not home either. So I guess, a tentaive conclusion is that we are sort of hybrid Catalan, that for a variaty of resons we feel good and free aborad ( better jobs and higher self control). Only bringing to life new human being would turn us into back to convetional.